I could have sworn I wrote a post like this, but now I can't find it. Anyway, trust me. I've gained a lot of weight.
*Wanna listen to me complain about being fat? Great, wait right there while I eat this doughnut.*
The inspiration came to me with the impending doom of my 20th High School reunion. (Shit. I'm old.) In the past few months my Facebook, hence my blog, has been discovered by several past Elementary School and High School classmates. Many of which are people I didn't necessarily hang out with, I just knew who they were. Which is really strange for me, as I was a very quiet geek girl in school with just a few friends, and now I'm bearing my soul and doing the occasional sex toy review for the Internet. (Hello Elementary School and High School classmates!)
Bask in the awkwardness.
In any case, it's now imperative to me that I hear this at least once at this reunion:
"Wow Daneen, despite multiple attempts you never managed to get a degree, you don't own your own home, you're still making payments on a banana yellow 2001 Pontiac Aztec (the ugliest car ever made), but DAMN look at how skinny you are!"
Because if I can't take pride in my shallow vanity, what else is there?
Thus, I've embarked on a low carb way of eating. I refuse to say diet, as I know I can't lose weight then go back to eating a gallon of ice cream for breakfast. God, how I love ice cream.
While I've already lost a bit of weight, my biggest obstacle was Starbucks. "Grande Triple Soy Cinnamon Dulce Iced Latte Please".
EVERYDAY.
Now then. Because I love you internet, I am sharing the secret of getting a delicious iced Starbucks coffee which is not only cheaper, but can be had without a thought to weight gain. Say these words: Iced Grande Americano with sugar free Cinnamon Dulce and room for cream". You can use any sugar free flavor you want, then add a bit of half and half for low carb, or skim for low calorie. It's wonderful.
. . . but to be completely honest it's not as good as a soy latte. So one of you fuckers better tell me how skinny I am come September dammit.
.
8 Comments:
By my calculations, you have time to do the 30 shred before September...
I know, I know. I hate exercising too, but it's really not that bad.
Recent blog post: Moving On Up...
Daneen, whether u get mad or not, there isnt thing wrong with you. you are beautiful inside and out. :-D and u know im right so dont argue. (im not gonna make this one long because Jerry made funn of me for writeing so much. *tear*) great job Daneen.
Totally hear you. I was doing good on weight loss but then gave up. I am going to Wisconsin to see family next week and I got my hair cut and I will wear makeup because I may be fat in all the family pictures but my hair and makeup will be done!! I gotta get on the lose weight train too!
I WANT THAT! I've been meaning to order it, I've heard really good things. Have to wait for it to fit into the budget though!
Oh don't pay any attention to Jerry . . . none of the rest of us do! =-O ;) :-P
I keep trying to get Julien to come outside and play soccer with me, but he complains it's too hot! LOL, "I know it's 108 degrees, but mommy needs to lose a few pounds!"
I think I paid $10 w/ shipping from Amazon. Slightly less than my dinner at McDonalds tonight... :-[
Recent blog post: Moving On Up...
Oooh, that's not bad at all! Off to Amazon . . .
(While seriously LMAO @ McD's! :-P)
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