At the beginning of a new year I like to reflect on the positives in my life. This is the 9th year in a row that Jerry, my husband is at the top of the list (despite the fact that I just had to ask him what year we started dating . . . which seems to have really pissed him off).
There are times I would just as soon kick him in the shin as look at him. Lucky for him, those times are far and few between. Most of the time, I feel like the lucky one.
Often he'll mention that before he and I were together, I had a life. I had friends, I had money, I went out and had fun. Then I met him, and became "saddled" with an instant family. Sometimes, to my regret, I agree. Being a stepmother, sometimes even being a wife, is a thankless job. It occasionally sucks ass to give everything, heart and soul, to kids that will never understand the sacrifices I've made out of love for them. To them, I will always come in second.
It sometimes pisses me off when I want to be on the internet, or read, or just do what I want to do, but can't, because my husband needs attention, or needs help, or wants to do something else.
The thing is, what Jerry has yet to understand, is that he saved me. He's heard the stories of parties, nights at the bar, and blowing my paycheck at Macy's. What he hasn't heard, are the stories of lying in bed for days at a time. Sitting at home alone, wishing like hell I'd get a phone call, a visit, anything to remind me that I wasn't totally alone. Even when surrounded by friends, and people that I truly love, I was still in this thing all by myself.
In meeting Jerry, and becoming his wife, I've found someone, one of the few people in the world, that GETS ME. We have the same ridiculous sense of humor, we can still have conversations like real people that have nothing to do with kids, nor home, nor hearth. He is one of the most amazing, intelligent, funny people I've ever known. I am grateful everyday for him (when I don't want to kick him that is.)
While we were still just friends, Jerry helped me move once. My friend Melissa had taken some pictures, and when I saw them I was furious. "Could none of you assholes have told me about the significant amount of cellulite on the backs of my thighs?" Jerry responded with "Yeah, that was the first time I saw you in shorts, and I thought about how unfortunate that someone as hot as you are had that problem." When someone can be truthful about your faults, and tell you you're hot at the same time? I trust him. I trust with everything I have, everything I am. I am lucky enough to wake up everyday next to my best friend in the world.
Now then.
Just so we don't get too mushy here, I recently decided to fine the boys 50¢ every time they said "diarrhea". Jerry gave me $50 and spent the rest of the day serenading me with repeated rounds of "Diarrhea! Cha-Cha-Cha!" You see, in addition to being the most perfect man in all the world for me, he's also a complete jackass.
